I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
