fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize