margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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