We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
