Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
