Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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