Swine flu. Run for my life!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
