You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
