I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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