i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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