U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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