I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
