A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
