i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
