I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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