i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
