I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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