I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
