whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
