i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize