Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
