I'm lost and stupid without you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
