there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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