you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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