Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
