the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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