it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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