Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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