What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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