i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
