About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
