Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
