Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize