38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
