Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
