I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
