I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize