I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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