Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
