Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
