Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
