Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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