then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
