Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
