Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
