nut hugger
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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