Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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