How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize