the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
