Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
