You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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