i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
