we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
