plz talk dirty to me
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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