Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
