Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
