I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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