ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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