BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
