considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize