ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
