so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
